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Alex Chediak

Helping young adults thrive at college and beyond

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What Our Mothers Didn’t Tell Us

June 25, 2006 by Alex Chediak

Danielle Crittenden‘s book What Our Mothers Didn’t Tell Us vividly captures some of the disadvantages women experience in the current male/female milieu prevalent in our culture (in general) and on college campuses (in particular). The book is not explicitly Christian by any means, yet her conclusions are very similar to mine. In short, if women in the 1950s saw themselves primarily through the lens of their uniquely feminine callings (wives, mothers, etc.) and insufficiently as adults with non-gender-specific intelligence, skills, and aspirations, the modern woman tends to view her worth in ways that suppress her uniquely feminine longings.

The result is a more androgynous culture, and, yes, one in which women have unparalleled opportunity, but also one in which women are increasingly vulnerable to male oppression–precisely because men no longer feel obligated (by societal mores) to regard women with particular esteem. For example, men are less likely to marry and commit to being breadwinners, so women (most of who still innately long to bear children) feel pressured to simultaneously balance demanding careers. Newsweek magazine seems to do a cover story on this about twice a year.

Another example is brought to light by the recent incident of the Duke Lacrosse team and the rape charges. I’m not talking about whether the players actually raped the woman. Rather, I’m concerned about the widespread trend on college campuses nationwide. Many reports site that women are rarely asked on dates by men. Rather, they enjoy casual friendships which may lead to sex, probably with no commitment.

It is one thing for conservatives to make these arguments. After all, conservatives have consistently opposed co-ed dorms and other trends that have led to more widespread premarital sex. However, a recent article in Rolling Stones presented the same conclusion: the current sexual expectations at colleges lead to the objectifying of women, and of their perpetual use (and abuse). Not only does this emotionally scar women (often quite deeply), it renders passive men unable to work for and steward the love/trust of a woman.

(Sorry – no link to the Rolling Stones article.)

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Filed Under: Culture

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Also by Alex

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With One Voice

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Praise for With One Voice

This relatively short book packs a powerful bang for the buck, providing much biblical and practical advice for young men and women seeking to glorify God in relationships.

Alex and Brett Harris
Best-selling authors of Do Hard Things

Alex and Marni Chediak offer sound biblical advice and a clear Christian framework for working through the maze of confusions surrounding modern marriage.

R. Albert Mohler, Jr., President
The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

Publishers have been cranking out books with all sorts of directions to help Christians navigate the treacherous waters between the buoys of singleness and marriage, and I know of none that is more clear, concise and helpful than With One Voice.

J. Ligon Duncan, III Ph.D.
Senior Minister, First Presbyterian Church

With One Voice is clearly written and God-centered. Our eighteen year-old daughter just read it and restrained herself from underlining nearly the whole thing!

Dr. Bruce A. Ware
Professor of Christian Theology
The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

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