Boundless has published a new essay I wrote called The Altar: Not the Finish Line. The opening:
I am convinced that for most men, a godly wife will bring blessings that nothing else can. But those blessings are not secured without hard work. I’m talking about the inevitable adjustments which all successful marriages require.
Marriage is not about two single people moving into one house but otherwise continuing to live their lives as before. Marriage is about the complete unification of two very different individuals — two sinners who, no matter how strong their attraction to one another, no matter how strong their Christian commitment, will get on one another’s nerves in the years to come in ways no other person will.
Survival depends on making adjustments — changes, compromises, sacrifices. But here’s the thing, guys: The more you are aware that adjustments must be made, that you will need to be flexible, the easier it will be to move quickly to compromise and together define how your new family will operate. That’s the good news. The bad news is that the more rigid you are, the more you fight for things to be exactly as you always expected them to be, the more work it will be to break bad habits and heal relational damage.