Daniel Darling is the Senior Pastor of Gages Lake Bible Church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago and the author of numerous books, including iFaith and Real.
Dan’s work has been featured in leading evangelical publications, including Relevant, Christianity Today, Focus on the Family, On Course, The Gospel Coalition, and others. He is a contributing writer for many publications including Stand Firm, Enrichment Journal, Crosswalk.com, Believe.com, and G92.com. Dan’s op-eds have appeared in Newsweek/Washington Posts’ On Faith section and other newspapers and opinion sites. Publisher’s Weekly called his writing style “substantive and punchy.”
Dan is a sought-after speaker and has been interviewed on TV and radio outlets across the country. He holds a bachelor’s degree in pastoral ministry from Dayspring Bible College and is pursuing a Masters of Divinity degree from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He and his wife Angela have four children and reside in the northern suburbs of Chicago.
I’m grateful that Dan was willing to answer a few questions for us about his book Real: Owning Your Christian Faith.
What prompted you to write this book, and what’s your primary audience?
This book has been percolating in my heart and mind for many years. I’m a child of the church–having grown up in the evangelical faith. For this I am so grateful and glad. And yet I know that growing up in the faith carries it’s own set of struggles that are sometimes hidden. My primary audience is anyone who has grown up in church. So I have chapters for those far from God, who have run from church. I have chapters for those who are still in church, but are going through the motions. I have chapters for young people, challenging them to own their faith both intellectually and emotionally. And I also address parenting, as those who grew up in the church are now parents themselves.
In chapter three, you talk about the need for approval. Why do you think this is such an issue for those who hail from Christian homes?
Well first of all, every human soul desires approval. We all want important people in our lives to affirm our value and worth. In most Christian environments, the “good kids” don’t desire approval from the negative places like gangs or peers or such, but from their spiritual leaders. This starts off well, as kids want to live in such a way that their godly parents and pastors and mentors approve them. But this approval seeking can quickly grow idolatrous and dangerous, where you are living for the approval of fallen men and women instead of God. And, in some more legalistic environments or authoritarian environments, this kind of approval can lead to poor life choices and a false view of the spiritual life. Kids start to look at life through the lens of “what does my pastor think” or “what does my professor think.” Christian kids need to learn to find their ultimate approval in God through Christ. They need to immerse themselves in the gospel so that they realize God is satisfied with them because He is satisfied with Christ. This is a huge, huge thing for the future confidence and effectiveness of Christian kids.
What’s your sense of how we’re doing, as a church, with young adults? Are we losing them, or are such suggestions overblown?
I’ve really wrestled with the data on this one. On some level, I think the Christian brand is damaged and I think young people are more skeptical of the established evangelical church. On the other hand, I see a new awakening. You have movements like Passion where young people are pledging their lives to serve Christ. I also think there are parts of the evangelical world that are heavily invested in doom because doom drives people to their cause. How many books do you read that begin with the premise that “70% of kids are leaving the faith.” It always ends up with “buy this book” or buy this new curriculum” or “attend our college.” And disparate groups across the evangelical spectrum seem to think they have the reason for the flight of our young people.
I think it’s more complicated. I think every single generation of Christian kids has to have their own experience, encounter with God. We can’t take one generation for granted. Each one needs to learn the gospel and the key doctrines as if they are new and fresh. And we have to understand that their is no system, no assembly line we can tweak so that we’ll produce perfect kids. Each person who grows up in church has a sin nature and needs the gospel as bad as the derelict on the street.
One of your chapters is entitled “third chair Christianity.” What do you mean by this phrase?
I got this from a youth pastor in our area. He preached a powerful message on John 14:6. He set out three chairs: Jesus as the way, Jesus as the truth, Jesus as the life. He said that the world stumbles on Jesus being the way–the only way to God. And some Christians waffle on that. Then he said that most Christians are in the second chair: JEsus as the truth. We are good about proclaiming, knowing, internalizing the truth. This is good and important. But the most risky place is when Jesus becomes your life. That means you are no longer the owner of your life, but you give full control to HIm to do as He wishes. This is a most uncomfortable chair. I challenge long-time, second generation Christians to move beyond their comfortable padded chairs and into a life of radical, life-giving service.
Your book closes with a few chapters on parenting. What do you see as the one or two key challenges to parenting in our day?
I think the most important thing in parenting is that you establish a gospel-culture in your home. What I mean by this is that we not only teach and train our kids in the way of God–that His law is best, His way is best. But we must also permeate our home with the gospel, so that our kids regularly are taught the importance of repentance and forgiveness. Parents are not just in the behavior-modification business. A truly Christian home has the gospel as its center. Practically this means that when our kids sin, we don’t freak out and wonder why. We know why they sin–they are sinners with a sin nature. And we apply the gospel to that sin. This also means we dont’ present ourselves as being perfect parents, but regularly apologize and admit our sins so that our kids realize that we too need the gospel. Lastly, I think our first prayer as parents should be for the Holy Spirit to do His work in the hearts of our kids so that they become Christians. And thus we can begin to work alongside the Holy Spirit as influencers in their spiritual direction.